54195

Joke of the Day

"Whats Orange and bad for your teeth? ... a brick"

"What's the difference between my 83-year old grandfather and /r/Jokes? My grandfather doesn't have Alzheimers"

"I always get burnt during summer time. I would go under trees but they're a little shady."

"I don't get how people still get attacked by sharks. DON'T THEY HEAR THE MUSIC?"

"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"

"The first Matrix director coming out as a trans-woman felt bold, unexpected and original.... .... the second one? Ehh... not so much."

"A Atheist, a Vegan and a Marine An atheist, a vegan and a Marine walk into a bar. How do you know that one of them is a Marine? Don't worry he'll let you know"

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? ....because he's married."

"Mandela dead at 95. Respect. That's 5mph faster than Paul Walker."

"If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity."