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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the court ruling on the grammar Nazi who did the double-murder? He got a compound sentence."

"I walked into a male underwear store for a quick second. I had a brief encounter."

"I went to the zoo today, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu"

"Medical prices these days are ridiculous Why, something as simple as an amputation costs an arm and a leg."

"My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza."

"Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall"

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over thehill while wearing sunglasses? Nothing. He did not recognize them."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."

"A black women names all of her 4 children Tyrone... How did she tell them apart? She looked at their last names..."