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Joke of the Day

"My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza."

"What do zombie college students eat? Raw-men"

"A new study has found that if a woman drinks 2 glasses of wine per day it increases the chance of a stroke... if you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it too."

"I'm usually exited for winter... But then I get cold feet."

"When playing tug of war with a 2yo, it's best to remember they're pulling really really hard and holy shit they travel fast when you let go"

"Kangaroo can jump higher than a house Mostly because houses can't jump"

"Doctor Doctor I'm becoming invisible. Yes I can see you're not all there!"

"I bet some of the Crusaders were just random guys who refused to admit that they were lost."

"Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!"

"I was expelled from school for masturbating in the showers The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz"