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Joke of the Day

"My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me."

Next Joke
 
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause"
"guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells ""who the fuck fucked my wife!"". Everybody's silent for a second, then a guy in the back of the bar says ""you haven't got enough bullets mate"""
"My daily horoscope says I just lost all of my decent followers by posting my daily horoscope on Twitter."
"[NSFW] Next time you're constipated, just watch Fox News or CNN. They bother the shit out of everyone."
"How do You find the worst joke of the internet? You reddit."
"My rap name is ""NO PLANZ."""
"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."
"What do you call a Cuban Prime Minister with a lot of attitude? Fidel Sass-tro"
"lqod lu lls I lsn o u ppo I Read it upside down"