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Joke of the Day

"One good way to prepare for marriage is to have someone come over and critique the way you load the dishwasher."

"Having a talk about drugs with my 11 yr old, and she said ""If I'm going to do anything, it will be hot boys."" I think I just had a stroke."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto."

"All this ""Kaine is boring"" talk is your reminder that nowadays Abraham Lincoln would have to know parkour or some shit"

"I told the barista my name was ""Britney Spears"" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with ""annoying white girl"" written on it instead"

"3 white girls go to a hotel . whats it called the "" i can't eve inn"

"I need to stop asking strangers if they're ticklish, and just start tickling them."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? (NSFW) Where you put the cucumber."

"""..so that's the story of Christmas. Questions?"" Where do turtledoves come from? ""Well, when a turtle and a dove really love each other.."""

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. In the end you wish you had a club and a spade."