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Joke of the Day

"I told the barista my name was ""Britney Spears"" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with ""annoying white girl"" written on it instead"

"[OC] Hey, do you wanna hear a joke about a condom? Tell you the truth, it's pretty bad. It's filled with holes."

"What do you call a pig with three eyes ? Piiig"

"Things I hate: lists, Oxford commas, and irony."

"How do you mail an egg? In a henvelope!"

"[hell] Satan: Everybody get online & read stuff that makes you mad for eternity Guy next to me: Nooooo Me: I trained my whole life for this"

"Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ""hole."" Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, ""It's not working. I cant take it anymore, I'm going to moms"" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?"

"Wonder which part of Batman's belt holds the bat-shaped throat lozenges he uses after speaking in his tough voice for long periods of time."

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."