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Joke of the Day

"A Texas woman found a snake head in a bag of green beans. Meaning someone will be finding a bean in their bag of snake heads."

"What is the worst place to hide in a hospital? The ICU (I-see-you!)"

"Just remember, you're unique. Just like everyone else."

"""As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?"" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China"

"I've been saving up for a sex change, I don't care what my wife says. SHE'S GOING TO HAVE IT!"

"I bet Elmo wonders about how they might stop funding PBS. And sometimes why."

"How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? Glue doorknobs to the walls."

"I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke... But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp."

"How is a woman like a condom? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick!"

"I'm not racist but... Your hair looks gorgeous. ""How is that racist?"" I said I wasn't racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."