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Joke of the Day

"Robber: If you ever want to see your family again do exactly as I say. Now hand me that bag! Me: *sets bag on fire*"

"My wife and I were very happy for 20 years..... But then we met."

"I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pi*sed. Not my fault they don't have Windows."

"Rule: Grown men should not use ""lol"" in a convo with another male."

"How do you answer the door Mathematically? Door: ""What is 2+2?"" Me: ""4"" Door: ""Cool!"""

"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"

"Why do Native Americans make the best strippers? Their dancing can make it rain."

"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."

"Exclamation points are cocaine for sentences!"

"What is the difference between Reddit and a fetish party? You might actually get me to sub here."