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Joke of the Day

"Which country has many spaces to put your car in? Park-istan!"

"Why did the dog go into the water? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog."

"Not to brag, but I still fit into the low self-esteem I wore in high school."

"Starting to carry a clipboard at work just to let folks know I'm not fucking around about shit anymore."

"I like my women like I like my coffee horny"

"""This shirt that the team was wearing smells disgusting. I need to find an appropriate state to name it after."" -Inventor of the jersey"

"I got a discount circumcision from a friend. He did a terrible job, but it was really a fantastic discount. Now I'm not sure if I should complain or not. I'm really torn."

"Ayn Rand, Rand Paul and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die."

"Sometimes you just need a cunning linguist to get a tiny pianist joke. [[ Obligatory text]]"

"I just won $1,000,000, and I've decided to give a quarter to charity. Now I have $999,999.75."