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Joke of the Day

"Dentists' offices only come in two layouts: ""open-floor concept Smarthome with a medical twist!"" or ""design attained perfection in 1964"""

"If you like internet jokes, you should see my online bank account."

"Hey girl are you a capri sun? Because i want to stab you."

"Jimmy the NASCAR driver liked to masturbate during the race. He always came first, but finished last."

"How do skateboarders see? So gnar"

"If you punched a random Brit today... There would be a 52% chance they deserved it."

"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."

"Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets."

"Told my dog I was feeding him only natural, holistic food. Not sure he could hear me over slurping of water from toilet."

"whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united"