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Joke of the Day

"I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down."

"Did you hear about the Jewish man who loves tea? Hebrews regularly."

"Where can you find alcoholic sheep? At the BAAAAH"

"Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!"

"Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!"

"Hey, insurance companies instead of having a commercial on TV every 10 minutes can you just cover some of my medical bills?"

"I like birthdays but I think too many can kill you"

"There is this new awesome technology to do group chats... It's called ""put your damn phone away and join the conversation!"""

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"

"What is Kanye West's favorite breakfast food? Omelette you finish."