53987

Joke of the Day

"whats the best thing about metal clothes pegs? I've no idea, you'll have to ask the wife."

"The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand."

"What did 50 cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting? ""Gee U Knit!"""

"How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?"

"He is so dumb he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!"

"What do you call a depressed dog eating honeydew ? A meloncollie"

"What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus? Nailed it"

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years.... I don't have 2020 vision."

"The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat."

"Friday night. Sitting in a bar. As the designated driver. NO, I'M NOT BITTER. I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE OUT OF A SENSE OF WONDER."