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Joke of the Day

"When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now."

"What is moist, smells great, and is for dinner tonight? My poop"

"What kind of person are you if you open the door from the bottom of the door? A low-key person"

"If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead."

"Girls are like blackjack. I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."

"Yes, I am having meat on Friday. I won't tell God if you don't."

"Know how much a pirate pays for corn? Bucaneer"

"What do you call a Chinese billionaire? Cha Ching"

"The Blind Man ""Ah, I see,"" said the blind man as he spat into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"If I ever had a heart transplant I would want my ex's because it's never been used"