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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!"

"I have only ever completed 2 successful high-fives."

"Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth."

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I'll never know."

"The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, ""uno, dos..."" *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres."

"when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title"

"I think that time will eventually show that Vanilli was by far the more talented of the two."

"[showing people around museum] and if u look to ur left you'll see a bunch of uppity people who get reaaal weird when you lick the paintings"

"I ate catnip today. I enjoyed it, but the cat sure didn't."