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Joke of the Day

"Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet? Because it was a sewer side mission!"

"BMW tried to make an amphibious vehicle... Mercedes and BMW started selling amphibious vehicles. Soon, however, BMW was forced to stop selling them, as their customer's kept getting the Benz."

"Doc said I need to change my diet... He said I need to eat more caviar and drink more champagne. I said, ""Doc, that's crazy! What's this diet called?"" He said, ""it's a High Fluten diet."""

"Guy at the cake shop: So is this for a friend? Me: No, it's for me. Apparently it's weird that I've had 9 birthdays this year."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt"

"69'd the wife then went to buy donuts after. The guy at the counter said he already knew what I wanted, so I asked how..... He said ""You had 'glazed' all over your face. """

"A baby seal walks into a club."

"A giraffe walks into a bar... The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, ""what's that lyin over there."" And someone replies, ""that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."""

"What's the only thing worse than a poop joke? A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it."

"Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted? Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?"