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Joke of the Day

"I bet even Kanye West occasionally looks in the mirror and thinks ""That was kind of silly, what I just did."""

"My Egyptian friend's dad drowned yesterday... He's still in denial."

"Why was the calendar depressed? His days were numbered."

"6 said he isn't sleeping in his room cause the tooth fairy sounds creepy but he left the tooth cuz he needs the money. -No DNA test needed"

"I live in a glass house and my back door is a jar"

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."

"How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Tentacles!"

"Once you stop doing functional programming... You never return"

"Why doesn't Texas slide into the Gulf of Mexico? Because Oklahoma Sucks!"

"Two businessmen are at a bar One asks the other: ""What would you do with a loan of a million dollars?"" The other replies: ""Not become Trump."""