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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."

"[first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]"

"Immigrants... David Cameron has said that hes going to put a cap on immigrants entering the country. I think its terrible, they should be able to wear what they want."

"So ... Helium walks into a bar Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: ""We don't serve noble gasses here."" Helium doesn't react."

"YOU'LL GO BLIND When we were young teens, we were told not to masturbate or you'll go blind. I always thought that was a joke until I heard about what happened to Bill Cosby"

"A ""G"" in the right font is not only a nice looping arrow, it's also a map to the mythical G-spot!"

"How can Donald Trump avoid impeachment? By dropping out now."

"Based on their level of excitement, bros in beer commercials seem unaware that you can pretty much buy beer anywhere."

"Women are like pasta They are straight until you get them wet. - Ellen Degeneres"

"what is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? one is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."