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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."

"I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day."

"What does a girl from Alabama say after having sex? Get off me Dad! You're crushing my smokes!"

"Why has /r/jokes won an environmental award? Everything gets recycled."

"Jews and pizzas What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat."

"ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen."

"How many kids with ADSD does it take to change a lightbulb? ""Lets go ride our bikes!"""

"What is a Latino gang member's favorite type of exam? Essay"

"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."