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Joke of the Day
"How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Tentacles!"
Next Joke
"Officer, if you are what you eat... Then I'm an innocent man."
"Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade? There were too many vets."
"Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10."
"Just saw a dude with a row of pimples that looked exactly like a sick handlebar moustache. Nice one, puberty."
"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it."
"*standing by the turntables at the club* Her: are you the dj? Me: wha?... Oh, no, I was hoping this was a crepe station"
"[A montage of me flailing because I walked into a spiders web, with larger and larger crowds, until I am at the karate championships]"
"ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US would they be considered a developing nation?"
"Man, these hotcakes are selling like themselves."