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Joke of the Day

"I've been jogging for 6 minutes & there are, literally, 9 vultures circling above me."

"Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper ? Nevermind , it's tearable."

"A bee just landed on my cheek and didn't sting me. I think we're dating now."

"I'm really not a fast driver I just don't like having anyone in front of me... Officer"

"I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine."

"When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight."

"I've got good news and bad news. The good news is this tweet is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing."

"Billions of years from now, Star Jones will expand and collapse in a brilliant explosion of cosmic matter and become Black Hole Jones."

"Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours wondering where he'd seen himself before?"

"I'd rather fly Oceanic Airlines than Malaysia."