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Joke of the Day
"Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper ? Nevermind , it's tearable."
Next Joke
"I want one of those jobs where people ask, ""Do you actually get paid for doing this?"""
"Att'n birds in my yard: the one to the LEFT of the feeder is for drinking, the one to the RIGHT is for bathing. Get it together you guys."
"Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to join search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"
"'Jesus loves you' means one thing in general society. And something completely different in prison."
"Last night, a two-seat, single engine plane crashed in a Polish cemetery. Polish authorities report that they have recovered five hundred bodies so far and believe thousands more may still be found."
"Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now"
"*At the ouija board* Me: Err... mom? Can't we just... Ouija board: A-N-D A-N-O-T-H-E-R T-H-I-N-G"
"What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night? Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now....."