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Joke of the Day

"Until you've thrown up peanut butter and jelly onto an 8 year old at the beach on a Sunday, don't talk to me about your ""drinking problems."""

Next Joke
 
"""What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription"" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*"
"I wish there was enough room on TV for another show called Judge Judy, but where people just stood around criticizing a woman named Judy."
"I will never be okay with how Michael is spelled."
"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""Hasn't decided yet,"" I say, winking at my refrigerator & hanging up. A ""FRIDGE 2016"" banner hangs above him"
"Why do Dale Earnhardt Sr fans hate Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall... and a wall killed Dale Earnhardt."
"Jesus can walk over water. I can walk over a cucumber. A cucumber exists of 90% water. This means I'm 90% Jesus."
"Why do elephants have flat feet? from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh"
"Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you"""
"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage."