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Joke of the Day

"*too embarrassed to buy condoms**buys 3D printer**makes gun**robs condom factory*"

"The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth."

"whoreplacedmyspacebarwithaclappingemojiIneedtofinishmypaperstonightpleasehelpme"

"Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind."

"How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? When she can't find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear."

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout"

"I sexually identify as a pansexual And I have a fetish for cast-iron"

"My counsellor told me I have a problem with vengeance. We'll see about that."

"I'm Going To Hell For This"

"How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to call the media and publicize and one to blame the Democrats on the electric bill."