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Joke of the Day

"Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind."

"Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide"

"A new movie based on the game Tetris is about to drop... ..so you better start lining up. (two for the price of one!)"

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side..."

"Two cows are standing next to each other in a field . . . one says "" I was artificially inseminated this morning"" ""I don't believe you."" Said the other ""It's true . no bull. """

"To get your ""porn star name,"" take the street you grew up on and see whether it's in a low-income area with a high rate of domestic abuse."

"I invented a new word today! Plagiarism."

"QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught."

"What's the difference between a sin and a shame? It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to take it out."

"if you turn the patterns on their shirts 90 degrees... the trusted REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER.... truly life is a fragile Bitch"