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Joke of the Day

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout"

"People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fruit salad"

"If the star of Anchorman asks the singer of 'Happy' to star in his next film... Will Pharrell say yes?"

"I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked."

"What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine? A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress"

"Accidentally walked into a mosque ""This isn't where I'm supposed to *be headed*"""

"Even deaf people want to fuck punch the Salvation Army bell ringing brigade."

"How do you find Will Smith in the Snow? I don't know. Just look for the Fresh prints! Ha ha. He's also black."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? [read with a pirate accent when they most likely say, ""RRRRR""] ""You'd think it'd be R but 'tis the C they love"""