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Joke of the Day

"Showerthoughts has a rule against puns so here we are. Promiscuous women in 1984 were guilty of thot crimes."

"What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly? They ostrich-sized him"

"What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin? Cracktose Intolerant"

"I dream to live in a world where I can politely get out of plans by saying, ""I'm so sorry, but I just remembered I don't want to"""

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."

"A hooker is a lot like a Christmas gift... It's fun to unwrap, but you never know what you're gonna get."

"What do you call a Cuban Prime Minister with a lot of attitude? Fidel Sass-tro"

"""Batman, we need your help in Brussels immediately."" ""Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."""

"[mouse plane] mouse pilot: hello folks, this is your captain squeaking- *mouse passengers squeal with delight*"

"NSSSA -National Stutter Association."