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Joke of the Day

"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."

"How does a Reaver clean his spear? He puts it in the Wash."

"Elephant and a naked man An elephant walks up to a man who was not wearing clothes and asked, ""How do you breathe out of that thing??"""

"Why are there so many jumpshots in the WNBA? Because women can't drive"

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven"

"*releases swarm of killer wasps* - ATTACK! *wasps fly off harmlessly in all directions* - Hmm... time for plan bee"

"*consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now."

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"Can I buy you a drink? ""I don't drink."" *panics* Oh. Um...well, here's $12."

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."