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Joke of the Day

"My ex girlfriend is like an archaeologist ...always digging up useless shit from the past"

"I couldn't imagine my parents having sex So last night I hid in their closet and watched"

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years. Come on, guys. I don't have 2020 vision."

"There's no recipe in this world that raisins can't ruin."

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone..."

"SCIENTISTS: We've discovered a massive black hole with no obvious qualities ME: Ok wow I'm right here"

"In honor of MLK day: Why don't black people sleep? ...Because the only one that had a dream was shot."

"Remember, there can be only one interesting person per relationship."

"Spell Xenophobia H-A-N-S-O-N"

"Imagine a buffet for the Gods... there's food for Thor."