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Joke of the Day

"I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now."

"A priest asks a little girl what she knows about the resurrection She says ""I don't know much other than that if it lasts for more than four hours then you should call a doctor"""

"Who was the most powerful cat in China ? Chairman Miaow !"

"Fajita poop, fajita poop! How dreadful are thy splashes!"

"My girlfriend said she's break up with me if I didn't stop being a casanova. Apparently she doesn't like that I live in my Chevy."

"Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block? He had a fear of eights"

"If you've watched the scene in Platoon where he gets shot in the back 44 times. You've pretty much seen my reaction to a wedding invite."

"I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat."

"An Egg and a Chicken were having sex... But which came first? - Took this title from someone but changed the punchline."

"Okay, let's get this straight. There's no way EVERYONE has the best boyfriend in the world."