22270

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block? He had a fear of eights"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bar tender asks him if he wants a drink, he says ""I think not."" He then disappears."

"I've had second thoughts about masturbation... On one hand, it feels great. On the other hand, you don't feel a thing."

"A son says to his father... A son says to his father ""Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"" The father replies ""No son, you're autistic."""

"I thought a vasectomy would prevent me from having babies. But all it does is change the color of my babies."

"We just got a donkey He's a real Jackass"

"TIL that ""Call of Duty"" has a different name in the Middle-East They call it ""The Sims"""

"They should probably have a feature that disables liking horrible statuses on Facebook. Last week 14 people liked that my friend's mom died. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but still."

"I don't want to lock my account because I like to help my X's feel better about themselves when they check in & make sure I'm still a drunk."

"I was asked if I wanted to volunteer at the U2 concert... ...I said I don't like to do Pro Bono work."