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Joke of the Day
"If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will."
Next Joke
"I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid"
"mom: do the dishes me: i cant im ugly"
"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles"
"I'm setting more realistic New Year's resolutions this year, like never doing anything right and not pleasing my wife."
"""Hi, I'm a male feminist and just shut up for a second while I explain to you why that's so important"""
"How many babies does it take to paint a house? None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint"
"How much does the economist-turned-prostitute charge for a blowjob? $200, possibly more if you account for inflation."
"Always ask ""are you voting for Sanders?"" before sex. If they say ""yes"" you know they are too young."
"If you ever get a job at a bank, take care not to slice your hand open while handling notes and coins. If that happens, you'll be sure to get a pay cut."