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Joke of the Day

"Hey, have you heard about the new Micheal Bay film? I've heard the lead role goes to explosions."

"What kind of star wears sunglasses? A movie star."

"my mom should have been on one of the planes that crashed on 911 ... I think -Anthony Jeselnik"

"*waits until you fall asleep* *tests out his new retractable air horn*"

"Hot Gums. Dude looks at a woman and thinks she has a beautiful smile. Dentists look at her and thinks she has beautiful gums.Never watch dentist porn."

"Alan Rickman has passed away. He was going through a bad spell."

"BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota"

"It's not generic enough. ~Producers of American sitcoms"

"I hate when people say, ""I wish I was a kid again."" Did you have sex and drink alcohol as a kid? Nope. So shut the fuck up. Goodnight."

"I'm half Muslim I'm only entitled to 36 virgins"