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Joke of the Day

"What do canola oil and some abortions have in common? They come from rape seed."

"What did one druid say to the other? Bear with me..."

"Remember when the Backstreet Boys sang 'Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely' and then we all showed them for the rest of their lives?"

"How does Davy Crockett like his pie? Alamo'd"

"What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkensaw."

"I have chronic diarrhea. My dad also has chronic diarrhea, and his dad had it too... It runs in our jeans."

"My spouse just said I'm such a cheap date that he knew he'd actually save money by marrying me. I'm apparently the Geico of women."

"Always be sure to pay the Priest who performs the exorcism on your property. Or they'll come back and re-possess your house."

"*Tim Burton slams hands on table* WTF DO U MEAN THERE ARE OTHER ACTORS BESIDES JOHNNY DEPP & MY WIFE *turns to Depp* HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN"

"Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank? He wanted to wake up oily."