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Joke of the Day
"What did one druid say to the other? Bear with me..."
Next Joke
"I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint."
"What's 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period."
"What's it called when two female scientists have sex for the first time? A double slit experiment"
"If you were stressed out yesterday Does that make you past tense?"
"My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections."
"Whiskey diet I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already"
"I got thrown out of the topless bar today... I felt like a boob..."
"A husband and a wife were having dinner... ... the wife dropped some tomato sauce on her top and said 'ugh, I look like a pig'. The husband responds 'AND you have tomato sauce on your top!'"
"""You stand accused of 3 counts of first degree murder."" ""Look, I'm a lot of things--"" ""Are you a murderer?"" [bites lower lip] ""Little bit."""