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Joke of the Day

"Please make sure my tombstone reads: wish you were here."

"Edison didn't fail at making a lightbulb, he found 10,000 ways that don't work. Number 7,511 will shock you!"

"Today a guest asked if we sold leggings for dogs (I'm not even kidding, this was a real request) I guess he owns a basic bitch"

"Do you know what the 14th and 15th letters of the alphabet spell? No. _______________________ You are exactly right."

"Whats the best way to pick up chicks Lean over and pick them up with your hands."

"You can lead a horse to water... but you can't make it drink, unless you have someone to hold his head under while you suck at his ass like a straw."

"Poor tradesman... ...blame his fools. I mean tools. Fuckin keyboard"

"I'm about to see if two carrot sticks can undo the damage of three margaritas and six hot dogs."

"Not to be vague, but stuff and things"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."