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Joke of the Day

"How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips."

"Why the Xelerator is better than the Airblade... Dyson only makes products that suck."

"I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert... ... He tossed me a dollar and said ""take your brother"""

"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."

"Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me agin tomorrow on still fat Wednesday"

"Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends? Because Saturday nights alright for freighting."

"I often ask myself, what would Jesus do?... ... then I realize I don't have time to just hang around all day."

"Why are redditors American? Because they always \*tip\*."

"I was gonna make a good science joke But all the good ones argon"

"Why was Hitler better than Jesus (offensive)? Belated Hitler birthday joke! Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."