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Joke of the Day

"I often ask myself, what would Jesus do?... ... then I realize I don't have time to just hang around all day."

"What a man How do you respond to someone who says ""fuck you"" Answer: You fuck you"

"With great power comes great electricity bill."

"Why'd the farmer win the lifetime achievement award? Because he was always out standing in his field."

"How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash. (In honor of the late Shepard Book. RIP)"

"I got my sister a T-shirt and a dildo... That way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself."

"I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire"

"What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl? He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed."

"Did you hear about those Indian heptuplets who became dangerous criminals? They were known as the Seven Deadly Singhs."

"Just saw a bug change its mind about going into a McDonalds."