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Joke of the Day
"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."
Next Joke
"You want to know the only thing wrong with rap music? It doesn't have a C in front of it."
"Some pretzels are totally weird... They're knot for eating."
"I had sex with a girl at an apple orchid and she ended up getting pregnant... It's probably because I came in cider."
"Do they make special shoes for gingers with no soles?"
"What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist? A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves."
"My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country."
"There was a piece of cake in the fridge with a note on it that said, ""Don't eat me."" Now there's an empty plate and a note, ""I don't take orders from a cake."""
"Dear President Kennedy, is it cool if we start asking what our country can do for us yet?"
"The font for alphabet soup Is times new ramen."