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Joke of the Day

"Hendrik Lorentz walks into a bar... He sits down at the counter. The bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" Lorentz replies ""What do you expect? I'm barely moving"""

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably one, but I can easily pay two to get the job done together at the same price I'd pay any other repair man."

"So i was talking to my friend who's a dyslexic philosopher And he says to me ""You know what, recently i've been wondering if there really is a dog"""

"I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it."

"A black guy walks into a police station."

"For everyone who's looking, here's a handy list of all the reasons to vote for Donald Trump: There aren't any."

"Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals ma'am."

"Girlfriend: ""I'm pregnant"" Me: ""Really? Thats great."" GF: ""April Fo--"" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*"

"Adults have imaginary friends too... his name is God."

"Injections are just like your wedding night A little prick and then it's all over"