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Joke of the Day

"Why was the bicycle laying on the ground? Because it was two-tired"

"Why did Yoda never get married? Because when he was standing by alter, and asked ""If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife?"" His response was ""Do I?"""

"Why is one thousand million billion trillion so bad? It's very naughty"

"Geneticists and Teenage Boys are the same... They both want to unzip your genes."

"Kissed a receipt to lighten my lipstick but I need it to return something & now some cashier is gonna think I'm flirting."

"Did you hear they're planting in a million trees throughout Harlem? In a city effort to improve public transportation."

"A local grocery bagger has been bagging cola on top of bread. Many were concerned that their bread would be flattened. His response to their concerns was ""It's fine. They're soft drinks"""

"Q:Of the set; 689 and 986, which is larger? A) 689 B)986 C) Who cares, as long as they are having a good time!"

"Whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine."

"If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all."