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Joke of the Day

"ME: ""I don't want sex tonight"" GIRLFRIEND: ""ok"" Reverse phycology doesn't work on women."

"I once found an egg with two chickens in it That was my best yolk."

"Is your refrigerator running? If so, I'll vote for it."

"I was working at the orange juice factory But I got canned couldn't concentrate"

"i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there's no jesus"

"My girlfriend had a heart to heart conversation with me today. She said she wanted some time and distance. Cool! She must really want to calculate velocity"

"Created a Kickstarter for my movie. Hoping to raise enough for a popcorn and soda too."

"A crossfitter, a vegan, an atheist, and a Redditor who always exposes reposts are all sitting at a bar... and I know this because they won't shut up about it."

"What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits? Hobbitat for Humanity"

"Why did the dolphin apologize? He didn't do it on porpoise."