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Joke of the Day

"An angry wife storms up to her husband. Wife: Our son just called me a bitch. Husband: That son of a bitch!"

"Damn girl are you a slide in the ghetto? Because I seriously regret going down on you."

"I just rolled a joint... Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!"

"If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? An American."

"[coming through customs] Okay Sir 1 last thing before we're done. Is there anything you'd like to declare? *slams passport* ""I've had sex."""

"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."

"I just saw my first Porno yesterday.... I couldn't believe how young I looked in it."

"Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though."

"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"

"I would pay 5$ to see my girlfriend naked on the street I don't have a girlfriend, 5$ would be a good bargain"