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Joke of the Day
"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."
Next Joke
"Someone said I was racist because I misspelled pico de gallo. It's like they don't even know I misspell English words also..."
"If Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are on a boat together, and it sinks, who survives? America"
"I need to start buying Tupperware to store my leftovers before throwing them out two weeks later."
"A car is just a very small room with wheels"
"What's blue and tacky? Smurf shit"
"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."
"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"
"If I had a crystal ball, I'd probably walk differently."
"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."