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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty parking lot and a crab with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"What's the difference between the Amish and a Ferrari? About 568 horses."

"Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

"Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here."

"I tell people to have a great weekend at noon on Mondays hoping they won't talk to me for the rest of the week."

"Most doctors agree that drinking a glass of red wine a day is beneficial, since it calms them down before surgery."

"Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite"

"I like my women the same way I like my coffee. Made by my mum."

"What do you call a group of gay cavemen? Homo erectus."

"What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies."