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Joke of the Day

"I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population"

"Barista: ""Welcome to Starbucks!"" Me: ""Large coffee please."" B: ""It's venti!"" Me: ""Then close all the windows after you get my large coffee."""

"My dyslexic friend sobbed uncontrollably as he confessed that he kept spelling his own name backwards I really do feel for Bob."

"""Hi mom, don't worry but I'm in the hospital."" ""Heinz, stop calling me like that. You are now a doctor since 8 years."""

"Got a tattoo of my mom telling me not to get a tattoo"

"Q: What kind of math class did the acorn take when it grew up? A: Gee-I'm-a-tree!"

"What is a girl pirate hookers worst nightmare? (NSFW) Riding on a bunch of different ships, but never getting any seamen."

"Why Did The One Handed Man Cross The Road? So he could get to the second hand store!"

"God has cursed me with thoughts that come in 147 characters."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? Half way."