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Joke of the Day

"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""

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"According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050."
"[doing a sexy skype chat] GF: show me urs & I'll show u mine ME: mmm baby I can't wait *we both lower our cams to show each other our dogs*"
"Ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... Stop right there, me! I'm under arrest for posting an unoriginal joke!"
"What did the black man get on his SAT's? BBQ sause."
"Whats the derivative of Amazon? Amazon prime."
"Why is Hillary Clinton just like a man? Because she won't pull out until she's done."
"- You are more attractive when you don't wear glasses -You too, when I don't wear glasses"
"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."
"What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."