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Joke of the Day

"I walked all the way from Europe to Africa. I know what you are thinking... Uganda be kidding me!"

"Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up."

"Don't worry, men. Women can't tell women to calm down either."

"Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like ""always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."""

"Hot Dads in ur Area Are Disappointed in ur Browser History Especially the One ur Watching Right Now With Midgets Dressed Like Dinosaurs"

"Sometimes I get scared robots are going to take over. Then I use a motion-controlled sink."

"REPORTER: how does it feel that ur tweet got like 0 favs? ME: it made me laugh so I dont think its so bad R: how does it feel 2 be wrong tho"

"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious."

"What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day? Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?"

"Forget everything you learned in College.... ""Forget everything you learned in College, you won't need it working here."" ""But I never went to college."" ""I'm sorry your not qualified to work here."""