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Joke of the Day

"What does Michael Jackson and Santa Clause have in common? They both like to come down your shoot."

"How do you turn your girlfriend into an angry pirate? Cum in a her eye and kick her in the shin."

"My sense of humor is so dark... ...that it picks cotton."

"How did Jim start losing weight after the holidays? He just quit eating cold turkey."

"(Nsfw) what does a sex robot say when he's done with his task? Fuck off"

"I haven't heard from DAEMON MAILER in years. I really hope he's okay..."

"Starting a dating site for old farts like me calling it carbon dating."

"My parachute didn't deploy At least I have the rest of my life to fix it."

"How did Ramadan go? It went by pretty FAST!"

"When you wish upon a star, planets are being scorched and destroyed billions of miles away but that's okay because YOU'RE IMPORTANT."