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Joke of the Day
"How do you turn your girlfriend into an angry pirate? Cum in a her eye and kick her in the shin."
Next Joke
"What's Paul McCartney's favourite food? Maccaroni"
"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."
"taylor swift: oh my god look at that face you look like my next mistake me [with mouth full of like way too many Doritos]: what"
"What is a dog's favourite food ? Anything that is on your plate !"
"Age is just the number of hours I'm hungover for."
"My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word ""ironic"" to describe situations in her life. It's pretty ironic."
"[NSFW] A Jelly Baby goes to the Doctor... Jelly Baby: ""Doctor, Doctor, my penis has gone black."" Doctor: ""What have you been doing?!"" Jelly Baby: ""I don't know... Fucking allsorts!"""
"A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men... ...who tear her clothes apart and start to rape and molest her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left."
"German Chinese food is great but it only has one problem. An hour later you're hungry for power."