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Joke of the Day
"(Nsfw) what does a sex robot say when he's done with his task? Fuck off"
Next Joke
"How do you turn a link on r/jokes purple? You choke the shit out of him"
"What does a vampire with a weight problem drink? Blood light"
"Welcome to Cupcake Yoga! NomNomaste."
"When a girl cancels a date, it's because she has to, but when a guy cancels a date, it's because he has two."
"[Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] ""YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"""
"[drive thru] GUY ON INTERCOM: can I help you ME: yeah are you guys open"
"Where does a cow go to watch a film? The mooovies. pls tell to friends."
"Newspaper and IPAD I told my girlfriend to get me a newspaper. ""Don't be silly"", she replied. ""Borrow my iPad."" .... That spider didn't knew what f***ing hit it."
"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike."