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Joke of the Day
"My wife said I should compliment her features more often... ... So I slashed her face."
Next Joke
"I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment."
"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."
"When life gave them lemons, the people at countrytime still decided to make artificial bullshit instead of actual lemonade."
"""Objection your honor, the defense is badg-"" BADGERING THE WITNESS! JINX! You can't talk. *Judge gives a respectful nod* ""Case dismissed."""
"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""
"Why could the drunk man only move left? The officer hadn't read him his rights."
"You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid."
"#NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even"
"What is 12 inches long and hangs infront of a cunt? Trump's tie"